I said, “I am falling”; but your constant love, O Lord, held me up. Whenever I am anxious and worried, you comfort me and make me glad. Psalm 94:18-19
The Word tells us that we will be tested. Sifted. Jesus prayed for us just before His arrest. But we can take heart, for Jesus has already overcome the world.
But God is the Eternal One who is Almighty, All powerful, Omniscient and in complete Control. Nothing happens that He has not allowed.
So if I list down the trials and concerns which are ongoing in my life right now with little or no outlook on an ending, then – 1) I focus on the dark side and surely satan can take advantage of that. 2) I allow people into the depths of my life.
So, why would I do that?
Sharing the hurt, will ease and sort my own mind. Giving things priority and help place other things in the back if they are less important.
But I believe it may be more important for people to know the hurts and trials, because one day the Lord will resolve the trials, hurts and pains and bring Glory to Himself that way.
So here is the list of the ongoing and yet unresolved, trials in my life:
My dad. Not saved. Bedridden from cancer spread to the bones (spine).
– My dad was saved May 3rd when he chose to believe in God and eternal life. Praise Jesus! He went to be with the Lord on August 16th 2015. It was hard to watch my dad cry himself to death in pain and agony, either physical or emotionally. He loved life and couldn’t imagine not waking up again. But I had the tremendous blessing of being able to spend the last 2 1/2 months with my dad and I’m so grateful to the Lord for giving me such an opportunity.
My family’s actions in relation to my dad.
– Has improved greatly as my dad’s health has been deteriorating. I’m not sure what the Lord did but I have no doubt He has been working in hearts and minds and my dad’s girlfriend has been caring for my dad, which is an emotionally tough and physically hard thing to do. Am grateful to her and the Lord for answered prayers. May He sustain her and save her as well. My dad’s girlfriend left him 3 months before his passed away. I can’t say I am/was impressed by her actions and she hurt my dad immensely. May the Lord watch over her.
My husband. Living and working in West Japan now. Not saved. Weekends are precious.
My husband’s lately unwillingness to join me in church.
– my husband is now turning down the offer of church categorically. Waiting for the Lord’s plan in this.
My daughter. Seeing a counselor, but having fears and worries spinning out of control.
– Her counselor is now pregnant and the counseling has been terminated as there is no other child therapist there. I have in turn been practicing ways to help my daughter so the fears will not spin out of control, and I am in dire need of the Lord’s help! The school has (finally) recommended a test to check my daughters math issues. We looked into the possibility last year as the school seemingly did nothing… Praying for financial help in this area.
My daughter’s school. A matter of broken trust has lead to me being restricted and not allowed to communicate directly with her teachers (culturally, in my home country, this would never be accepted).
– With the Lord’s help I have managed to lay down my hate towards this person. Though I am not yet at the point where forgiveness has taken place, it’s in my heart something isn’t right. She on the other hand has probably by now picked up my vibe and she seems to have taken a distance to me, which I see as respectful. Continually working on laying down my negative feelings towards her, but am struggling. The Lord knows this very well.
Stress. My own stress. (See the category of “stress – from broken vessel to…”). Though the stress has been greatly relieved already, it is an ongoing battle to not fall down into that pit again.Trying to get off the muscle relaxing medication I am taking.
Thanks for reading this far ❤
May the Lord Bless you.