Within a spectrum

I have had my daughter home from school since beginning of April due to suicidal thoughts. I’m a deep thinker and there’s a lot on my mind;
Thoughts and decisions. 33.jpg

Should my child go back to school and finish her 4th grade, or not. School will welcome her back and mom wouldn’t mind getting some alone time, but…
The improvement I have seen in my kid since she left school is truly amazing. The cutting has decreased and the girl I knew from about 3 years ago is sticking out her head again and that’s another reason why I’m not inclined to send her back to school. Unfortunately, her therapist seem to think differently and I would prefer we were on the same page (really; Christian therapists do NOT grow on trees in Tokyo!).

The decision to homeschool from 5th grade was relatively easy. I have been online searching for homeschool curriculums and – wow! The amount of “perfect for your kid” curriculums are stunning.
6fbb2cf6ec1e1128f16547bda099fe09.jpgHowever, only a fragment brings me peace and those are the unit based ones and… dare I say it… I found one that is s-e-c-u-l-a-r…
So I’ll add Bible to it, but hey – Beth Moore’s talk shows ought to spark some interest and then we’ll see where it takes us. I leave that peacefully into the Lord’s hands. I want my girl to get to know the Lord and find a desire to feel Him close. She is wired for that

Being out of school hasn’t been a cure. Therapy is still needed, medication likewise. But I have been reading up on psychology and the latest research and get this: Being an introvert could possibly be considered “being on the autism spectrum” – Now, don’t go frazzle on me now… An introvert isn’t autistic as such, but looking at the big picture I can see why a person with a diploma on the wall, would get the idea and explore it. b226fc0a61384c360840542c10732f0c.jpg

What is generally considered “normal” are people who talk, laugh, play, assert themselves, engage in activities – e.g. socialize, but that’s also (somewhere on the scale) the definition of “extroverts”: outgoing, sociable, friendly, unreserved and are energized by being around other people.
So when we encounter someone who is not particularly social, we see it as something “abnormal”. Was it “socially awkward” I heard the other day?

In schools, teachers try their best to teach students to assert themselves, play well with others and “have red cheeks after recess”. To make it in the world we live in, those qualifications are pretty important, but… In my case, my girl would much rather have a peaceful place for some quiet time. Why?
Because she’s an introvert and no amount of encouragement to become more social will change that.
How-to-care-for-introverts.pngBut it’s not allowed in school to bring anything out for recess, so kids who are by nature extremely introvert don’t really stand much of a chance (and no, there is no place to hide from friends…)
You guessed it; I have a beef with that!
It begs the question in my case – was the social anxiety partly grown because she doesn’t fit the “normal kid” standard?
Was she tying knots on herself for years trying to fit in and yet never did, causing low self-esteem, anxiety and depression?
I really think this is something schools in general ought to look deeper into.

If we do not allow kids to be who they are and help them grow into the person God intended for them to be, then we are just trying to mold kids to become what we have defined as “normal”. 

603652f640bb57a679069acb1bbc22e8.jpgBut God’s ways are higher than ours and even standardized school systems will have to recognize that, because the world is seeing more and more “on the spectrum” kids.
Can we afford to wait with adjusting our standards to meet God’s fearfully and wonderfully made children?