Pretty paper-wrapped or boxed presents… with fancy bows and shining colors. No’b, not that kind of gift.
The thought in my head: Gifted people.
Some are gifted. Born that way. They may struggle in other areas of life, but if you wish to read the encyclopedia at age 6, I’m betting you’re gifted in one way or another… But no, I’m not talking about that type of gifted either.
If you are one of those who can see the rainbow beyond the cloud, then you are gifted with a stellar faith I’m downright envious of!
I’m a doubter. From early childhood or as far back as I can remember, I have been drinking deep of a cocktail known as “Trust Doubt” or the liquor called “Prove It”. Occasionally both and undiluted.
When I can’t see a so-called “silver lining” to circumstances or somehow put reason behind things about to happen, I look for God and want Him to prove to me that He is still good. But I doubt Him.
When my child is in bed at night crying salty tears, telling me she hates life, I seriously wonder where Jesus is, because in those moments – I sincerely look and cry out to Him but I do not find Him. Every time she utters those words in one way or another, a part of me dies.
Unless you have walked a mile in my shoes, you have no clue what it feels like!
I still have my faith. I can’t really get fiercely angry with Jesus if I don’t believe He exists. So that’s that.
I’m not gifted. I wish I could see the rainbow beyond the cloud.