Pretty paper-wrapped or boxed presents… with fancy bows and shining colors. No’b, not that kind of gift.
The thought in my head: Gifted people.
Some are gifted. Born that way. They may struggle in other areas of life, but if you wish to read the encyclopedia at age 6, I’m betting you’re gifted in one way or another… But no, I’m not talking about that type of gifted either.
If you are one of those who can see the rainbow beyond the cloud, then you are gifted with a stellar faith I’m downright envious of!
I’m a doubter. From early childhood or as far back as I can remember, I have been drinking deep of a cocktail known as “Trust Doubt” or the liquor called “Prove It”. Occasionally both and undiluted.
When I can’t see a so-called “silver lining” to circumstances or somehow put reason behind things about to happen, I look for God and want Him to prove to me that He is still good. But I doubt Him.
When my child is in bed at night crying salty tears, telling me she hates life, I seriously wonder where Jesus is, because in those moments – I sincerely look and cry out to Him but I do not find Him. Every time she utters those words in one way or another, a part of me dies. 
Unless you have walked a mile in my shoes, you have no clue what it feels like!
I still have my faith. I can’t really get fiercely angry with Jesus if I don’t believe He exists. So that’s that.
I’m not gifted. I wish I could see the rainbow beyond the cloud.
We can’t always see the end result, but know that God is at work and only wants the best for you (Romans 5.)
And thanks for the like.
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Thank you for stopping by and for the encouragement. Blessings.
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He cares about all your griefs and anger! He wants you to pour it all out with Him… frustration, hard questions, your deepest hurts. He does love you! And your daughter! Your hubby! Praying for you!
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I know… but I don’t know. Crazy thinking but it’s really hard d to stay focused in the midst of one adversity after another. My hearts know. My mind can’t always grasp it. Not making much sense 😂 but I love Him and I love you. Thanks for your love.
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only you and God know your circumstances, and why you feel the way you do… but it is ok to have your feelings… He knows them… and does care. And He will wait patiently for you.
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Thanks for leaving a like on “From the Son’s Angle” today.
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I completely understand your heart! I’ve been there and some days I’m on the bench right next to you.
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Thank you for the encouragement. It’s actually nice to know others can understand the feeling. Too bad you don’t live in Tokyo 😌. Blessings.
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Be strong and courageous… my son used to have those outbursts once in a while… as a parent nothing could probably be more upsetting… but I think even this will pass… keep praying and we’ll be doing the same…. what other choice do we have after all…
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It’s been years of this. Anxiety and deep depression and despite medication, things are still not okay. It will pass. Eventually. But I’m out of energy now.
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Yes, sometimes it’s really hard! Will be praying!
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Through our tears God’s light bends for a time. We can’t see clearly until the storm breaks and the colors are revealed. All our tears refracted back in the colors of the rainbow…he is present in every droplet.
I understand your storm.
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Thank you. After years of this, I’m now drained.
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I know. I understand the depth of frustration and even dispair. I don’t understand the why of it. I can only trust that God has his purpose for allowing it.
I get angry at times and let God know (happened last week). He didn’t change things but I did get a brief glimpse of a rainbow – a moment to refresh my soul. I wish I could offer you wisdom and a way for change…but I’ve not found it, only glimpses of rainbows to continue this journey and assurance that God is.
I will pray.
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King David would say to you “amen sister.” I appreciate this honest psalm from your heart and prayed for God’s grace and strength for you.
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Thank you. I appreciate your prayers.
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Read this and prayed
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Thank you. Appreciate it.
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