Silencing an Introvert

lead_960.jpgI just did something I never actually believed I would do…
I emailed a link to an article about introverts in schools, to the head of school and principal of my daughter’s, now former, school.
A few days ago I was angry, resentful, sad but most of all disappointed. Really disappointed!1e1ac7e2242da1b7802a8f6fe1e910e8.jpg
How did I get there..? And how did I get to the point of trying to educate educators about personality types in schools…? Me? Really?

On April 4th when my girl verbalized her suicidal thoughts, she wasn’t allowed in school until her therapist cleared her. Understandable. She was cleared pretty fast, but refused to return to school. The school principal is one very Godly person… Gracefully gave me all the time I needed to help my girl get back to school – or not.

The reason my girl refused to return to school was her classmates. The mean girls… (yes, plural). 1.jpgAs I had conversations with the therapist (who had been in contact with the principal) it began to dawn on me, that because my girl has anxiety and depression and therefore her cognitive skills aren’t as sharp as should be, school principal and teachers decided to give the other girls “the benefit of the doubt”…

My child may have her struggles, but she is not a liar!! I can’t tell you how angry I got when it dawned on me that these mean girls got away with bad behavior, regardless of what their intentions were.

We do not train children in the way they should walk, by not addressing their wrongs!

Once I made the decision to permanently pull her out, I emailed that decision to 6 school staff members. One replied with love and prayers. Two wouldn’t reply as they still work with my girl outside of school. The principal replied with usual grace as well. Two others did not reply at all: Classroom teacher and school counselor. I’m choosing to believe they had g-o-o-d!! reason for not replying, but honestly – I don’t think the classroom teacher could have done anything more disrespectful than to ignore that mail.

Brush it off! – brushed it off. It’s gone… somewhat.

In the mail I asked if my girl could pick up her things and get a chance to meet the adults she has loved working with, to help her say goodbye in her heart. That part of the mail was addressed only by one and that was a “cotton candy’ed” sentence that sounded “I look forward to seeing her around the community”. That’s American for “no” in case you wonder. Yes, I’m feeling resentful.

Sadness-understand.jpgBut the last drop – the one that sent me into a twirl of anger and disappointment was when I picked up her things from the classroom. Her classroom teacher was there, her desk was already gone, her things stuffed into a plastic bag. I grabbed it, got her indoor shoes, looked into the eyes of her teacher and thought “aren’t you going to say something… anything?“, but despite the sad-ish look in her eyes, there was no greeting to my girl, no questions asked and literally not a word spoken. I kept quiet myself and just walked down the stairs.

That’s when the sadness overwhelmed me.

Not that she had left school, but that school seemed so… not caring.

My girl is an introvert. When I read the above article I thought about her time in the class and how many times I have heard her teachers say “participate more”… Her leaving school could possibly not have been prevented, but the act of telling an introvert “you should participate more” may feel like being asked to enter a snake pit for kids on the introvert scale… It certainly didn’t help my daughter.

May the Lord speak to the hearts of all teachers around the globe. Amen.

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20 thoughts on “Silencing an Introvert

  1. Praying for you and your daughter, Lene! God loves you! And God knows and loves that babygirl from a very personal level! He knows exactly what she needs, and is more than willing to be as loving and patient as she needs.
    He also knows exactly what you need on a personal level as a frustrated mom, a homeschool teacher, a wife, AND as His dear child with challenges of her own! ❤ He loves you!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. First of all, thank you for interacting with my words at LivingCenter.me – I wish I were more diligent about commenting and responding to the words of others.

    As a former teacher, it grieves my heart to hear this story. I could write so many words about the cookie-cutter mentality – and I have. When our children are not looked at as individuals, as the sweet souls we love and cherish, we feel betrayed and wounded – at least I did when my daughter was in school.

    I truly hope that, even in the chaos of my classroom, my students felt loved and respected. I know I let them down sometimes and, for that, I will always feel a layer of regret and shame. God forgive me.

    I pray that your daughter is growing stronger and that your righteous bitterness subsides. Take good care as you care for her…xoxox

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    1. You’re welcome. You have a good blog going there.
      Thank you for your words. I appreciate them. Not all teachers can be cookie-cut either, thankfully, but the situation here was just over the top with teachers who did not even try to own their mistakes.
      My daughter is now being homeschooled. It’s a relief not to have to deal with the school anymore!! Wounds take time to heal.
      Take care and thanks for stopping by. Blessings.

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  3. Amen! I agree, may the Lord help those working with children to see that they are each created uniquely, and to treat them accordingly. They are not cookie cutters, and they shouldn’t be. They each have their gifting, their talents, the ways that make them special in this world. Your daughter is blessed beyond measure to have you for her mom!!! 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

  4. Sorry it has taken me so long to comment. Painful bursitis in my hip has incapacitated me. That aside…there is no excuse for those teachers who did not respond to you. Self righteousness is apparent and lack of compassion is evident on their part. Also not doing anything about the bullies is glaring, although I am not surprised. I suspected that your daughter was being bullied right away when you mentioned how she was cutting herself and then it stopped once you took her out of school. I didn’t mention it because I could have been wrong.
    The bullies will get sorted out one way or another. God is not lax. He will deal with the teachers and the bullies. Because they are bullies, once your daughter is gone, they will find another victim. Sooner or later they will be caught and have to be dealt with.
    I will continue to pray for you and your daughter. Stay strong and stay close to Jesus. You did the right thing by getting your daughter out and keeping her out. You saved her life.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yes you are right; God is not lax and He will deal with it… it still twists my heart out of shape to know that this happened in a place where Jesus is proclaimed and taught… (maybe taught more than lived…). Either way, I have some healing to do now and some tears to cry – and of course some good long coffee chats with Jesus and then I’ll be able to move past it and move on.
      Thanks for your prayers and I will pray for your pain to stop.

      Liked by 1 person

  5. Wow! I’m sad to hear you went through this. My son will start going to preschool in about a month. Thankfully he’s already been to this school and had to leave one time and my experience with it was totally different than yours. I just hope that if she’s back in school, her classmates and teachers help her overcome it with love and patience! ❤️

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    1. My daughter is permanently out of school. Though we hope she may be able to return some day, it’s not going to be anytime soon.
      Not all schools are the same just like all kids are different. I’m sure your son will have a wonderful time in preschool. Thanks for stopping by!

      Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you. Perhaps if school were more willing to accept all types of kids they wouldn’t feel that need to shape them into cookie cutter shapes… I’m just a little bitter… yeah, I have to get over it!

      Liked by 1 person

  6. While raising my daughters, I found schools to be unsympathetic to any illness they had. My youngest daughter was sick a lot and all they did was complain about how much school she missed – while she was getting high grades!

    When it comes to emotions, they are really hopeless. I’m sorry her teacher couldn’t have found the gumption to say something nice – anything!

    Liked by 3 people

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