Oh the pride in me! I wish I could cut it out and throw it away or go see a doctor and have it removed. Unfortunately, it ain’t that easy. Pride is one of the sins in my life I have become increasingly aware of and I dislike that, possibly as much as I dislike having the pride in me in the first place. Yuck!
I want my own way or God’s way. Okay, mainly my own way but definitely not other people’s way. I often forget that God speaks through “other people” too and instead of listening and being concerned about What is right, I often am more concerned about Who is right…
But this morning He spoke through His Word. In Habakkuk 1:7 it says “…and in their pride they are a law to themselves.”
There was no tingling in my soul there, but rather a piercing yet gentle swoosh sound through my heart. Looking through a variety of translations, it all boils down to “pride” and making up own rules to follow. It’s a tempting yet dangerous road for every believer and I realized that God wants to take this pride out of me, so I can stand up and be around other people without that feeling of inferiority which comes with social anxiety.
Now that was humbling, but what’s even more humbling is this: Jesus goes through the trouble of telling me this, because despite all the yucky stuff inside me, He still loves me!
Wait… I need a tissue…
Perhaps it makes no sense to you – the inferiority and anxiety I mentioned: In a simple way; My pride makes me want only my own way/rules. When someone looks at it in a different light I can become stubborn (no way – it’s my way!) or, most of the time, feel inferior (why are they all so much better and more Godly than me! I can’t deal with this, I must get away from this, They are all so perfect and I’m not Godly enough to be here etc. I run, I hide, I pray and I cry). If I could be humble around other people, I wouldn’t be so easily intimidated – especially by other “proud-type” human beings.
One thing I really love about Habakkuk is that this minor prophet questioned God – asking the same questions we often ask today “why, Lord, why?!”. It’s clear that the world today is no better (though different) than it was back then and both in world view as well as in my own life, I often want to ask that “why” question; “Why is it like this? Why are some people sex-trafficking little girls? Why are babies left in alleys in some countries? Why are people so hung up on themselves they can’t see this big God who loves them? Why, why, why…” Habakkuk asked God questions like these… and it isn’t irreverent! Nor is it irrelevant!
God answers when He is asked from a heart who wants Him.
God is close because He comes to us. Granted, we sometimes do not get the answer we hope for… but we get one. If we listen.
But even if I do not get the answer I hoped for, He still somehow manages to speak hope into my heart and that makes me joyful and it makes me want to love Him even more… So I praise Him. Just like Habakkuk did.
Remain Blessed in His love.