One of those mornings…

When I woke up this morning around 4 am the sun was rising outside and the temperature was mild and not-so-humid-yet here in Tokyo. But my mind was dim. All day yesterday I was hearing my dad’s voice in my head. He had many sayings, proverbs if you wish and they were lingering one after another, though non of them seemed to have any particular meaning as if sent from the Lord.

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I got out of bed and went to meet Jesus with my coffee mug and of course I then realized my grief had another tidal wave for me. Good heavens how I miss my dad!!

I prayed for strength… to get through today because it’s just one of those days. So with my Bible open I went through pages until Psalm 86 popped up and I read the whole thing… and then I prayed the whole thing;

Psalm 86 (the voice)

O Eternal One, lend an ear to my prayer and answer me, for I am weak and wanting.
Safeguard my soul, for I remain loyal to You.
    Save me, Your servant, who trusts in You, my God.
O Lord, please be merciful to me, as all day long I cry out to You.
Bring joy into the life of Your servant, for it’s only to You, O Lord, that I offer my soul.
O Lord, You are good and ready to forgive;
    Your loyal love flows generously over all who cry out to You.
O Eternal One, lend an ear and hear my prayer; listen to my pleading voice.
When times of trouble come, I will call to You because I know You will respond to me.

O Lord, You stand alone among the other gods;
    nothing they have done compares to Your wonderful works.
O Lord, all the peoples of earth—every nation You established—
    will come to You, bowing low to worship,  and rightly honor Your great name.
10 For You are great, and Your works are wondrous; You are the one True God.
11 O Eternal One, guide me along Your path so that I will live in Your truth.
Unite my divided heart so that I will fear Your great name.
12 O Lord, my God! I praise You with all that I am. I will rightly honor Your great name forever.
13 For Your loyal love for me is so great it is beyond comparison.
    You have rescued my soul from the depths of the grave.
14 
O True God, arrogant people are after me.  A violent gang wants to kill me;
    they have no interest in You or Your ways.
15 But Lord, You are a God full of compassion, generous in grace,
    slow to anger, and boundless in loyal love and truth.
16 Look at me, and grant me Your favor.
    Invest Your strength in me, Your servant,
    and rescue me, Your handmaiden’s child.
17 Give me a sign so I may know Your goodness rests on me
    and so those who hate me will be red with shame at the sight of it.
    For You, O Eternal One, have come to my aid and offered me relief. 

I’m not done with the grief. I’m not done with the tears. But I have the strength to make it through. Praise the Lord.

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12 thoughts on “One of those mornings…

  1. Spaniardviii

    If “The Voice Bible” is your main translation…I have great concerns for what your in-taking. As your brother in Christ I ask you to please rethink in using that so called Bible because some people who was involved in the translation committee, they teach heretical theology which in my view is a form of “New Age” teachings. Research these men from the Emergent church leaders such a Brian McLaren and Chris Seay. Mr. McLaren teaches dangerous doctrines that my heart goes out to those who take it in without knowing what they are eating through their ears and storing it in their hearts which as the potential to kill spiritually. Whatever you do, stay away from “The Voice Bible”, “The Message Bible”, The New World Translation”…for these are not Bibles but a distortion of the message of Christ. The Italic in “The Voice Bible” is added by the translators which is not found in God’s Word and it seems to be a myriads of those additions.

    Below I will give you a list of trust worthy Bible Translations that according to my review and research is good for reading and studying and is faithful to the original manuscripts.

    NIV (New International Version)
    HCSB (Holman Christian Standard Bible)
    NKJV (New King James Version)
    ESV (English Standard Version)
    NASB (New American Standard Bible)
    MEV (Modern English Version)
    NET (Bible New English Translation)
    NLT (New Living Translation)
    GNT (Good News Translation)

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  2. Kære Lene.

    Min mor døde for snart 7 år siden efter nogle svære år, hvor hun led af Alzheimers sygdom.
    Ofte er hun i mine tanker.
    Jeg tænker, at døden kun er en fysisk adskillelse og at vi af og til får lov til at huske hinanden og være hinanden nær, fordi kærligheden imellem os er intakt.
    Af og til når det, der har været svært imellem min mor og mig, dukker op, så beder jeg for hende, som regel Barmhjertighedens Rosenkrans. At bede for min mor hjælper også mig selv at slippe ud af negative minder, negative tanker og forløser sorg.

    “Du fører bog over min elendighed, mine tårer er samlet i din lædersæk, de står i din bog.”

    ❤ fra Susanne.

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  3. I came to thank you for stopping by blog, and then I came across this post. So sorry to hear about the passing of your father and so thankful you can find comfort in your heavenly Father’s Words and in His love.

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  4. Thank you for your honest sharing of your grief, and how you deal with it in faith. I just had a conversation with a friend about this same subject, and how difficult we found it to say anything intelligent or comforting to people we talk to who have had similar grief. You express things beautifully and honestly, maybe that’s all we can do.

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    1. Welcome to wrestling with faith – dancing with Jesus! So happy to have you here.
      Thanks for sharing the difficulty of talking about grief with someone who has lost… it’s not easy, but having lost both of my parents (and I’m 42…) I know the grief intimately. Helping someone or saying something intelligent is difficult but I think the main thing is to understand that grief is to “mourn the love you give which can no longer be received”. Comfort is to allow the hurt and pain – “It’s okay to cry… I’m here for you… take your time to grieve (and it can take a really long time)” as opposed to encouragement which is simply out of place the first few months but perhaps a realistic “We don’t get passed grief but we learn to live with it”. In truth, that’s the sentence which has helped me the most. Just my thoughts in case you were interested… 😉

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  5. Isn’t the Lord wonderful to speak to our hearts with comfort and compassion when we are hurting? I am praying for you and all those in Japan who are suffering and grieving right now in the aftermath of the earthquakes. Blessings, Mary Ellen

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