When I woke up this morning around 4 am the sun was rising outside and the temperature was mild and not-so-humid-yet here in Tokyo. But my mind was dim. All day yesterday I was hearing my dad’s voice in my head. He had many sayings, proverbs if you wish and they were lingering one after another, though non of them seemed to have any particular meaning as if sent from the Lord.
I got out of bed and went to meet Jesus with my coffee mug and of course I then realized my grief had another tidal wave for me. Good heavens how I miss my dad!!
I prayed for strength… to get through today because it’s just one of those days. So with my Bible open I went through pages until Psalm 86 popped up and I read the whole thing… and then I prayed the whole thing;
Psalm 86 (the voice)
1 O Eternal One, lend an ear to my prayer and answer me, for I am weak and wanting.
2 Safeguard my soul, for I remain loyal to You.
Save me, Your servant, who trusts in You, my God.
3 O Lord, please be merciful to me, as all day long I cry out to You.
4 Bring joy into the life of Your servant, for it’s only to You, O Lord, that I offer my soul.
5 O Lord, You are good and ready to forgive;
Your loyal love flows generously over all who cry out to You.
6 O Eternal One, lend an ear and hear my prayer; listen to my pleading voice.
7 When times of trouble come, I will call to You because I know You will respond to me.
8 O Lord, You stand alone among the other gods;
nothing they have done compares to Your wonderful works.
9 O Lord, all the peoples of earth—every nation You established—
will come to You, bowing low to worship, and rightly honor Your great name.
10 For You are great, and Your works are wondrous; You are the one True God.
11 O Eternal One, guide me along Your path so that I will live in Your truth.
Unite my divided heart so that I will fear Your great name.
12 O Lord, my God! I praise You with all that I am. I will rightly honor Your great name forever.
13 For Your loyal love for me is so great it is beyond comparison.
You have rescued my soul from the depths of the grave.
14 O True God, arrogant people are after me. A violent gang wants to kill me;
they have no interest in You or Your ways.
15 But Lord, You are a God full of compassion, generous in grace,
slow to anger, and boundless in loyal love and truth.
16 Look at me, and grant me Your favor.
Invest Your strength in me, Your servant,
and rescue me, Your handmaiden’s child.
17 Give me a sign so I may know Your goodness rests on me
and so those who hate me will be red with shame at the sight of it.
For You, O Eternal One, have come to my aid and offered me relief.
I’m not done with the grief. I’m not done with the tears. But I have the strength to make it through. Praise the Lord.