I don’t know how to be a mom!

I’m not whining, not looking for pats on my shoulder or encouragement!!

– But I just realized that though I’m very much a mom – definitely remember that part vividly! – I do not actually know how to be one.

Explanation?
Okay… When my baby was a baby, I was her caretaker (and found the whole “beauty of nursing” to be more painful than joyful). When she was a toddler, I morphed into safety-guard person and valued the times when she was peacefully sleeping in her stroller and added to that, I have always thought the best part of any playground was my coffee tumbler, a bench and a chat with another mom.

Oh I love my girl to bits and pieces and way beyond that… and I have always done whatever I can to care for her. But after meeting with her psychologist today – alone, e.g. a parent meeting, I admit… I feel a bit lost.
I’m not sure what my idea of “a mom” is!

He pointed out the very strong and dynamic relationship my daughter and I have. We are very close and I actually like it that way. In a sense, we are more friendly than “momly”.

I asked him to elaborate; “Be mom in attitude and conversation” he said.
Don’t be her counselor.
He told me that her anxiety seems connected to our relationship;
meaning, she thinks that by letting go of her anxiety she will loose our relationship. Yeah… I guess it makes sense somehow.
I nodded and we scheduled another meeting and I walked out… Utterly confused.

I shouldn’t be teaching her academics. Okay – I get it, I got it! Leaving that to teachers. But now I should avoid giving her counsel?
Is that even possible??
Are not all moms counsellors to some extend?
Counsel means to give advice, guidance, directions and am I the only one with the famous bible verse of proverbs 22:6 coming to mind?

Start children off on the way they should go and even when they are old they will not turn from it

I have had some practice now being her counselor, confident, friend and caretaker, but the main core of our relationship is a basic friendship.

Now I’m left with the question on my heart: How to be her mom!

Oh Lord – you who has all knowledge – please help me see this through your eyes!

In Him.

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4 thoughts on “I don’t know how to be a mom!

  1. Hi LeneiJapan! As a man, I can’t tell you the first thing about being a mom! ;o) But I’ve had to learn to be a dad and the solution is the same! God has built you to be a mom and it must flow from the heart just as living the Christian life must flow from the heart. Anything that is His will for your life will flow in and from and through the streams of living water He causes to bubble forth from the depths of your spirit and soul. The answer is: God knows. Now we let Him do and be it. BTW my kids (5 of them, ages 4 to 15) shine with Christ in them. Keep looking to Him who is your true Teacher and Counselor! He is able and He is faithful! As for us, well, some days are better than others! ;o) In His love, Neil

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I suppose the more you talk with the therapist, the more you will learn about what your daughter needs from you. Raising children is the hardest, yet most important, job on earth, I think. I’ve found though, the main thing is that you love them and they know it.

    When my daughters became adults, I had to let them go and quit giving them advice. They hated me giving it and never did what I said anyway. Lol

    Like

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