I’m not whining, not looking for pats on my shoulder or encouragement!!
– But I just realized that though I’m very much a mom – definitely remember that part vividly! – I do not actually know how to be one.
Okay… When my baby was a baby, I was her caretaker (and found the whole “beauty of nursing” to be more painful than joyful). When she was a toddler, I morphed into safety-guard person and valued the times when she was peacefully sleeping in her stroller and added to that, I have always thought the best part of any playground was my coffee tumbler, a bench and a chat with another mom.
Oh I love my girl to bits and pieces and way beyond that… and I have always done whatever I can to care for her. But after meeting with her psychologist today – alone, e.g. a parent meeting, I admit… I feel a bit lost.
I’m not sure what my idea of “a mom” is!
He pointed out the very strong and dynamic relationship my daughter and I have. We are very close and I actually like it that way. In a sense, we are more friendly than “momly”.
I asked him to elaborate; “Be mom in attitude and conversation” he said.
Don’t be her counselor.
He told me that her anxiety seems connected to our relationship;
meaning, she thinks that by letting go of her anxiety she will loose our relationship. Yeah… I guess it makes sense somehow.
I nodded and we scheduled another meeting and I walked out… Utterly confused.
I shouldn’t be teaching her academics. Okay – I get it, I got it! Leaving that to teachers. But now I should avoid giving her counsel?
Is that even possible??
Are not all moms counsellors to some extend?
Counsel means to give advice, guidance, directions and am I the only one with the famous bible verse of proverbs 22:6 coming to mind?
Start children off on the way they should go and even when they are old they will not turn from it
I have had some practice now being her counselor, confident, friend and caretaker, but the main core of our relationship is a basic friendship.
Now I’m left with the question on my heart: How to be her mom!
Oh Lord – you who has all knowledge – please help me see this through your eyes!