A year ago I deactivated my facebook account and I haven’t regretted it. A year ago I was facing a child who struggled and a dad who got a 2nd collapsed vertebra (bedridden) from cancer gone to the bones and a very limited lifespan (and being 10.000 km away did not make that any easier).
On facebook I always felt like I had to show the happy things and faces or otherwise my “friends” would judge in one way or another as “she’s just seeking attention” or “don’t want to watch gloomy posts”. Also, as time passed from beginning of my facebook account with limited number of friends to having friends I barely knew… the newsfeed got crowded with adds. The posts from some friends were just barely likable (as “laying in bed with my beautiful wife” kind of thing… good for you! But I really don’t need to know that…) and once all was said and done in a day’s work, I found myself being on facebook more time than I actually wanted to. Talk about the backbone of a rainworm – as we say in Denmark… I got addicted and that is never good.
When my dad fell the 2nd time and I realized that my “facebook friends” couldn’t offer much support, I decided to just go cold turkey – quit – finish – be done with it. The first few days, I walked around myself but very quickly found joy in reading a book again or writing a letter the old-fashioned way or even an email to someone I missed.
When my dad went to be with my Lord Jesus this summer I wanted to post something about him on facebook. That was the first time I actually missed it. But soon I realized it was because I wanted to hear all the “RIP”, “sorry for your loss” and “condolences” comments and be able to see the “like” number count going up. Yikes… and I pushed the idea of reopening it aside.
I still don’t miss facebook, but I do miss a network where I can communicate with all friends and family in my birth country and send photos of what my life here in Tokyo is really like. I just can’t find any network that can do that better than facebook… as all my friends from the little duck pond of Denmark are indeed on facebook. Not on what’s up, Line or Instagram.
Even though my family here are facing some pretty serious stuff in regards to my little (not so little anymore actually…) girl with anxiety, sensory processing issues making it’s way to depression, I must admit that I am once again tempted to open up a new facebook account for my girl and I for the sole purpose of staying in contact with family and friends.
This is where it gets complicated… well, not really all that complicated but since I do have a tendency to addictions – can I use it for that purpose only or will I once again be tempted and give in… and end up with a bunch of “unknown friends”, choosing not to post because it’s not “a happy post” and how about the spending of time.
Oh the facebook dilemma… Yes, I could use email and once in a while sit down and jot down and add photos etc and send it out to all as a pdf. I do have a friend who does that and it works, but then it also feels rather impersonal. Is facebook personal? If the number of friends are limited to strictly duck-pond friends, formerly known as vikings, then I could possibly keep it personal. I think. But then my next issue would be the information flow in case of another big disaster here in Japan. 3.11.2011 brought a lot of true and false info from various sources and the one source I found to be true all the time were the independant university (international) friends who knew about radioactive stuff…
Oh the facebook dilemma. You certainly are a double-edged sword but your name isn’t Jesus!