Happy birthday dad

Dear dad

I have been determined to post a letter to you here on my blog on your birthday. I begin with “today, September 27th, you would have turned 77 years old…” And then I stop and stare and tears well up. I just can’t write this letter yet. I know you are gone and I accept that fact but I’m still learning to live with it. It’s hard dad. So hard. I give myself time to deal with the hard parts – the grief. And yet I push myself to write you a letter on your birthday… Sulking in self pity… Just as I think I’m okay, just as I think I’m back on my feet, grief comes like a tidal wave. I’m sorry dad, but I can’t yet write you the letter I wanted to.

I miss you dad. Clinging on to the hope that heaven is celebrating you.

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