Numb yet full

This morning when I yearned to pray

I found that I had no words to say

It’s not that my heart is empty nor full

It’s more like my heart feels numb or dull

The contradictions are mounting higher than high 

While my body my spirit and mind breaths a sigh 

I can’t explain nor understand

God’s way is higher than any man

And any man such as my dad

Shouldn’t lay in pain and as sad 

But, there is not much left of the dad I knew

The one who grabbed a gun to walk in the morning dew

Now he is screaming in pain 

And all my prayers feels in vain

And yet I see Him, my God, answer my call

When I ask Him to break down a wall

So I can show my dad who the Lord really is

Jesus gives the moment of clear bliss

Oh God, my one desire in all of this

Is that people will meet You and feel Your kiss.