I have longed for the moment when I could sit down with my coffee, my computer, music in my ears and jot down a few sentences which eventually would turn into a blog post.
Tucked in between a pile of various stools, bookcases, moving boxes, baskets, electrical cords and my desk; I’m now sitting looking out the living room window in our new home seeing a bare tree which in spring will bud and turn into a wonderful green view. It’s the season with no leaves but God’s peace is alive and well right here where I am. I have this tendency to be unable to stand having mess around me… curiously; I don’t care much about this mess.
Turning back the clock; I often walked past this condominium area and whispered a silent prayer to the Lord “If you are willing, Lord – is there a place in there that might be right for us?”… I never told anyone. For a few years I did that, because I knew the house we lived in had a limited rent time. Not too long after we got the notice to leave the house an apartment here came up for sale and we went to look at it, fully knowing that we can’t buy anything (we must rent). My hopes were shattered when seeing it as it was very very small. So with a sigh I gave it up to the Lord and figured He might not intend this place for us.
When we went to see the real estate company we looked at several possibilities and wow – there among the options was this apartment we now live in. Same m2 as the house (about twice the size as the apartment that was for sale), bright and light and wonderful, half way reformed (it’s a very old building) and with practical rooms. I couldn’t believe it. When I walked in, I just fell in love and had peace. My husband didn’t object in any way, but thought it was a bit over prized. But his two girls were jumping and his little daughter loved the triangle shaped room (yes, it really is triangle shaped!) and we took it. The only huge minus here is the kitchen. It’s very old and falling apart… here in Japan we would carry the cost ourselves to have it reformed, but eventually I will probably insist on it as it is a “bacteria bomb”.
But what an amazing peace I feel. Not everything here is perfect and fancy, but the peace of God is so beautiful here and my prayer is that my husband can sense it too.
As for the move itself, it happened on Valentine’s day and it was chaotic and my girl felt the stress and the feeling of being overlooked. It got to her and she is now more demanding of me and my attention than ever before. The evening after my husband came down with the flu. It was a blessing in disguise as he has been overworked for a long time and needed the rest. Unfortunately, he has to work from home instead, but that too is a blessing as he can handle all the needed paperwork involved with moving. He is now getting better but still struggles. He has to go back to work on Sunday evening with the night bus, so I’m praying he will be fine by then.
Meanwhile, I am doing my best to handle and juggle the normal daily things as well as settle in and make it a home. And the Lord has been so good to me waking me up at 4 or 5 am so we could have our coffee morning together and I could listen to His voice and continue my journaling. It’s beautiful how God works!
But… I do feel worn out now. Very tired and easily overcome with fear. Last night my girl had a tummy ache and though it was nothing serious, it was enough to scare her and needed me close. Really close! – This morning I didn’t have my coffee morning with Jesus and I can feel it. Tears stemming from stress which comes from a daughter who needs me greatly these days. I’m not sad, just tired and overwhelmed.
I’ll try to keep posting – but I can’t find the recharger to my computer in the moving mess so until I do, please pray I do. Love you all. May the Lord Bless you.