Not out loud, but I’m happy my computer has automatic spelling correction!
Last night I had a talk with my husband about faith, religion and having faith. I didn’t push for that conversation at all, it just sort of happened. And I’m sad and happy it did.
What He said was that He believed in God. Huah… wait a moment – hang on… you believe in Jesus? I asked with eyes tearing up. But – what he told me next, in a shortened version, made my heart crumble:
“I believe in God and I believe Jesus lived. But I can’t believe in a virgin birth or the resurrection. It can’t happen.
It’s just a story. I like Christianity because it’s the only religion where thankfulness for everything is mentioned.”
When I touched the subject of eternity, he rejected it completely with a “I do not care. I don’t think anything happens
when we die. You and our daughter are my heaven”.
As I’m sure you can imagine… this is not easy for me to deal with, I can only pray and leave it in the Lord’s hands.
Could it possibly be that my hubby’s name should not be among those in the book of the living..?
Can you spell excruciating heartache?
What happens next? I will keep on praying for him. I will never give up on that, but my heart is screaming to know what happens next… is this it? Has he really fully rejected the Lord? What will it take for my husband to surrender to Jesus?
This morning around 4 am I woke up and lit candles, took my Bible and my devotional book and sat down to seek Jesus in the darkness. From the outpouring of God’s heart, He is not willing that anyone should perish and He will not give up. I myself rejected Him several times before coming to Him in all humbleness. We had a teary coffee morning, Jesus and I. But as the light began to shine as the sun began to rise, so was my heart put back together. For my husband is sanctified through my faith and I can’t say if he will or will not find faith.
Praise and Glory to the Lord of my heart.
Oh Lord… to you be the Glory!