Satan tries to prove you false, but God…

allows him to prove your faith!

The past two weeks I have been walking around in a bit of a haze like condition. One step at a time, doing one thing at a time, crying on/off all the time and feeling blinded and sad and depressed. It was a different kind of sadness than the one I had previously when the circumstances was pressing in on me and my relationship with the Lord was taking on a new shape. This was leaning towards depressed and it was really difficult to answer when people asked “how are you?” I was fine… sort of… well, I’m okay… kind of not, but I manage. Bla bla bla…

Once in my young life I came very close to suicide. Thankfully I did not follow through with it. Somehow I didn’t imagine that someone with Jesus in her life would head that way… But now I understand what can make even a Christian Jesus girl want to break the commandment of not to kill. It was a dark place to be and despite fully knowing that it was satan’s work, it was too overwhelming.

Yesterday morning I managed to have coffee morning with my beloved Jesus. I love our coffee time. I’m not sure what I said nor how I said it, if indeed I said anything at all. I just remember His words whispered to my heart: Trust me. I never change. The same morning later in the day I open my mailbox to find a beloved friend and brother in Christ writing me “Satan tries to prove you false, but God allows him to prove your faith”.

It was as if I woke up again and saw my way out of the haze that had me blinded. Trusting the Lord with all I love, especially the people I love is the only and best thing I can possibly do. God has a plan and I need to trust in it. I do not know the plan, but I know that God doesn’t change and He is infinitely Good. Infinitely. He loves me. He cries when I cry. He feels what I feel. He knows every emotion hidden in me. He never changes. Because He is infinitely good and never changes, I can surrender to Him and the plan He lays out for me and my loved ones. He is incapable of doing evil.

That day I grabbed a book and ran for the coffee shop. I need to know the Lord much better than I do now.

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4 thoughts on “Satan tries to prove you false, but God…

  1. I’ve had the feeling in my life that I can’t go on. When I do I often repeat to myself a part of the 23rd Psalm that is all about trusting in God: “Even though I walk through the darkest valley, I shall fear no evil for YOU ARE WITH ME, YOUR ROD AND STAFF COMFORT ME.” Keep trusting in God’s love and being filled by that love. You are never alone—God is there for you. Thank you for sharing your pain with me also. I’ve felt similar pain and I am praying for you as I am sure many of your friends are doing! “If God is for us, who can be against us?” Paul says in Romans 8, and follows that with “Nothing will separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus!” Cling to these words with all your might when the days get dark for you!

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    1. My dear Pastor Jim! It’s so great to hear from you again. I hope you are doing well?
      Thank you for the comment! – and yes, Psalm 23 is a really great one. I often repeat that in my mind too and my daughter is learning it as well. I’m out of the haze by now, but I know I may go back down… The Lord took me to psalm 16 actually. I have looked it up in several translations, but the GNT was the one God showed me. I humbly thank you for your prayers. You are so valuable to me and you shall be in my prayers too.<3 Take care and may the Lord continue to Bless you and watch over you.

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