Okay, I went detox… After this time of experiencing sadness in a way I have never felt before, I did what any sad girl would do: Pray. Well actually, I didn’t at first. My trouble wasn’t that I didn’t want to pray or didn’t have words, but rather that I had no alone time with peace to pray. But then one of those devotionals aimed at women was sent to my inbox and it began with this:
“…you are a chosen [woman], a royal priesthood, a holy [daughter], God’s special possession, that you may declare the praises of Him who called you out of darkness into His wonderful light.” 1 Peter 2:9
It came up in several places like facebook too and even in a book I’m reading. Being God’s special possession – wow, what a privilege! He called me into the light… So in the midst of the holiday ends, school starts, husband sick moments of my day I looked out the window and asked the Lord to give me the time and peace to be alone with Him.
You know what – God answers prayers!!
Sunday morning my daughter woke up too early as it has been a habit of hers lately (unknowingly taking my prayer time) but she fell asleep again and my husband was curled up in his duvet and thus, I snuck out – grabbed my Bible and made myself that cup of coffee and I sat down gazing out of the window as the sun was warming up the blue sky. It was magical – to be alone with my Jesus again. I told Him about all my sadness inside, I cried it out (okay, I sobbed!) and then I asked Him to give me the peace of heart and mind I needed. And He answered that prayer too.
I know I am now back where I am supposed to be. And… then again; Not quite. The Lord isn’t finished with me yet, thankfully and thus the verse that continually comes up for me to read, on facebook, in books, in devotionals, in sermons etc is this:
“Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience”. – Colossians 3:12 as well as Matthew 25:31-46 where Jesus talks about serving the least of His brothers and sisters. What I went through and may go through is also a call to serve Jesus by serving others. Showing them compassion and gentleness because I might know how they feel inside. It’s a call to turn around and encourage others.
Praise the Lord for bringing back colors to my life!