In retrospect


I have returned from my Nineveh and as I sit in sweltering Tokyo heat and humidity, missing the warm and non-humid Danish weather, I’m enjoying the iced latte while recovering from the trip. “Going home” isn’t as great and wonderful as most people assume. I do like my birth country and I do love my family and friends there. But it is emotionally draining to be in a completely secular environment.

Skipping past the many ups and downs during my stay with my dad and his girlfriend, I had many great days with friends and enjoyed a sightseeing holiday in Copenhagen. Beautiful harbor city with fresh air and gorgeous buildings. My daughter got passed her stomach ulcer and slowly began to feel less nausea and less pain and eventually began eating some cucumbers and strawberries. She has lost 3 kilos during this holiday, partly due to the ulcer and partly due to the very different food available in Denmark she is not used to in Japan.

We were also so fortunate to be able to borrow a friends apartment while they went on holiday, so we had a week on our own in my old hometown. Considering my dad lives about 2 hours drive from my old hometown, it was a true Blessing to have that time and convenience. I got to visit some family and some cemeteries during that time. Including my mom’s burial site which is now gone… I had hoped to be able to show my daughter her grandmother’s burial site. But that wasn’t supposed to be. Still, I’m glad we went to the place and I got to see “the unknown’s” site.

All together we spent 3 weeks with my dad and I am thankful for it. In many ways the trip was loaded with emotional strain – obviously I was very much concerned with my daughters health. A stomach ulcer in a 7 year old is by no means a common thing. My dad is terminally ill and I know the whole truth about his cancer and though it hasn’t taken the better part of him yet, it will and… it’s a hard thing to carry around. Especially when you are far away. Adding a mix of people with whom communication is troublesome on just about all levels, makes everything difficult and emotionally strenuous.

3 days into our stay at my dad’s, the girlfriend and I had our first incident. Fully knowing I had done and said nothing wrong, I just apologized. I wasn’t there to come between them nor make the stay uncomfortable for anyone. But during the 2nd week things got worse and more frequent and when we entered the 3rd week I was accused of not putting her name on the birthday present to my husband. She threatened to go home to herself… up until that point I had held things together, but being accused of cheating her was over the top. I had to leave the house so as to not tear her head off. My dad was fully knowing who was in the right and who was in the wrong, but – it tore me to pieces that something like that could create a tension that neither one of us, least of all my dad, needed. I cooled off at the neighbors house and re-entered saying nothing. I couldn’t look at her and couldn’t talk to her… I was truly afraid I would loose my temper. But obviously, she then complained to my dad that I didn’t like her because I didn’t want to talk to her… There is no winning with this woman.

On the same day we returned from our week in my old hometown, my brother and his family came to visit in the evening. My brother opened a conversation with “when are you coming back?” “will you be here in 3 years?”… ?!? Ah well… communication is the hardest language in the world. He wanted to know because they needed to plan his 50 years birthday party. In the stillness of my mind I went “not even royal weddings take that long to plan”.

This post has already reached the limit of how much folks want to read, so I’ll continue the part about sharing Jesus in the next one; “In retrospect 2”.

In Him



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